Reminder

Last night I went to the wake of the truck driver who was killed in a motorcycle accident on Sunday. His name is Ken Olsen and he was married to Anna and has two kids, Ken & Kristen. Please pray for Anna. I know the pain she is feeling and she is going to need God's strength to get through it.

Going there was a huge flash back for me and was rather hard, but also a good reminder of how precious life is. I find myself getting annoyed with little things and I am trying my best to stop that. I have so many blessings in my life and I need to focus on those, but the things that I cannot change. Sure I would love to have my sister back and to have Timmy living a block away still... but that is not the way it is. However, I have a husband who makes me feel so loved and taken care of. I have the privilege of seeing the love in his eyes when he smiles at me and often times I'm too busy to notice. He'll come home from work and give me a kiss while I'm cooking and I'll just take it and move on to stirring the noodles rather than showing him how much I appreciate him. I also have an awesome daughter who makes me smile and laugh and who has shown me that life goes on every day and to just keep taking it day by day. I don't know what tomorrow holds but I do know that I'm going to try my best to appreciate the small things and not worry about things I cannot change.

The saying that has gotten me through the hardest times is:

God grant me courage to change the things I can, serenity to accept the things I cannot change and wisdom to know the difference.

Just what I needed...

We went up to the Dells with Kim & Collin this past weekend and had an awesome time. Between boating, beaching, eating, sunning & talking it was JUST what I needed. It's great to spend time with people who you don't have to entertain or look for things to talk about..but rather just relax and enjoy the relationship that has been growing into a friendship that Pete & I both needed. It was fun watching the boys be boys. They made friends at the beach and played the bean bag game for HOURS. Saturday was just adults while Makenzie was at the Jensens and Sunday we brought her with us. She did great and, as we guessed, loved the sand and water.

We lowered our house to the FINAL price so we'll see what happens. If it doesn't sell by Nov 1st then we've decided to take it off until the next Spring (it's hard keeping the house perfect between the home office and Mak)... so we have 5 months to just sit and wait. Our DREAM home is still up for sale so all we can hope for is that while we're waiting for this house to sell that the price on the house we want will continue to drop!! We've had lots of people interested, so hopefully when they see the crazy low price tag (which is still higher then the short sales in our neighborhood) they might make an offer.

We lost one of our truck drivers to a motorcycle accident Sunday, so please keep his family in your prayers. I know how they feel and they are going to need alot of help from God to get through these days.

Life has been hard for some time now, but I've noticed some positive things...

1) Work has been picking up at Catom

2) I am doing better at staying home by myself at the house

3) Mine & Pete's relationship is at a very strong point and we're on the same page as far as future plans go.

4) Timmy is coming to visit for two weeks in July

Saturday the 6th

"Napping" with Grandpa


The s'more from Friday night!! Yummy.

Playing at her big girl table!!

7am Pete and I started to wake up and we decided just the lay in bed and relax until we heard the little one. It was nice to be able to just lay around and not rush. I don't take enough time to do this!! I really need to :)

8am We finally get out of bed and Pete feds Makenzie while I showered. We were planning on leaving for Walmart around 8:30 to miss the rush, but Pete couldn't find the truck keys!! After a long time looking we finally leave at 9:30, lol.

9:30 We head off to the store to find some gates for the condo and to get some food. After we got back, Makenzie played while I started to clean and Pete hung curtains for the sliding glass entries. They turned out GREAT. He has really turned into a handy man... something I didn't think was possible,... ok, that sounds mean, but oh well. We put Mak down for a nap at 11am and I finished cleaning the whole place while he worked on some other things.

1pm I was finishing mopping the floor when Char walked in to see the baby. She offered to stay with her while we ran to Madison to get the gates that we couldn't find at Walmart. She also told us to go out to get dinner!! YAY. Yes... I have a wonderful mother in law and I know how blessed I am. We shopped and ate and had a great time. We just kept smiling at each other and laughing at how needed it was. We haven't gone out for a "date night" since she's been born!! To her credit, we really haven't felt the need to... but after Friday I needed it really bad.

7pm We made our way back to the condo very slowly and just enjoyed the peaceful ride. Once we got back we hung out with the Jensens and were happy to see our baby again. She stayed up until 9pm playing with Grandpa and her new shopping cart. I also got a padded foam thing for the patio outside that she loved. Pete put the first gate up but realized that the second was going to be a project so he decided to wait until the next day after church.

10pm We had a good time listening to stories about their most recent missionary trip and about the kids that we sponsor. They really want me to go with them on a trip so it wasn't a good idea for me to hear all those horror stories!! It's all worth it though. I know some day I'll go with Pete to see the place he loves so much. We finally ended the day... having NO IDEA that we would NOT be making it to church the next day... Mak slept until 11:15 the next afternoon... LOL.

We really enjoyed our weeked up in WI. We got to spend alot of time with Pete's family while still getting alot on our to-do list done. Even though the weather was yucky it allowed us to get some work done so that we can just go boating next weekend with Kim & Collin.

Friday the 5th

Just a warning... this was NOT a good day for me!!

6am I wake up and I get ready and do some devotionals.

7am Makenzie wants out of her crib after playing a little bit. I could tell right away that she was in pain from teething!! She didn't want to be dressed, didn't want to eat, didn't want to play.

8am I made chocolate chip cookies and tried to have Mak play on the floor while I was cooking, but she just wanted to be held! So, I held her while they were baking and we read some books and played. Pete thought that he would be home around noon to head up to WI so I was trying to keep her awake so that she would nap in the car.

9am Pete calls to say he is on his way back to the shop so I started packing his truck up (he left it home for me to pack while he was working). Mak did NOT like this. Every time I went outside she would scream bc she wanted to go out at play. She loves being outside ANYTIME ANY DAY.

10am I get a call from Pete saying that he is on call for a 1pm pickup and he's excited to take the 18-wheeler with a special trailer for a spin... me... not so happy. I was wanting to get out of the house!! ( I have a really hard time staying in the house by myself... it sounds silly but it is just a sad place to me right now.) I put Mak down for a nap and had a two hour window to finish cleaning (we had a showing at 3:30), packing (to be ready before the showing), and getting random stuff like watering flowers and getting food ready for the weekend. The two hours went by fast but I got alot done.

12pm We eat lunch... but Makenzie didn't want anything... except for the chocolate chip cookie I gave her at the end. Opps. She was still a mess from teething so I took her to the park to get her mind off of it. We had a great time on the slide and she loved the swings. It was all great until we walked home, which she SCREAMED the whole time. She didn't want to leave but I knew we had to get out of the door by 3 before the realtor showed up. The Cortland cop was nice enough to wave and smile at me as he drove by on the walk home but I know he was really just laughing inside... that or getting ready to call and report me for making my child leave the park unwillingly.

2pm After about breaking down from frustration and disappointment in taking ALL DAY to clean up, pack and get out of the house I decided that we both needed ice cream. JUST IN TIME I heard a Harley roll by and I thought "Oh, that's just the guy down the street but it would be great if that was mom and dad...." AND IT WAS. They wanted to see if she wanted to go on her first motorcycle ride but she wasn't very happy at that point so it didn't work. She just wanted my dad to hold her, which worked out great so I could throw everything in the truck, empty the diaper pail, pick up the leftover toys and walk through and make sure the house was ready to show.

3pm We all go for ice creme and I waited at Ollie's (the ice cream place) until Pete was done. They had a grassy place for Makenzie to run while we waited. My mom drove our car back home for us so Mak, Pete & I jumped in the truck to GET OUT OF CORTLAND!!! After a three hour car ride (Mak didn't sleep the whole time) we got to the condo.

6pm We get there and our key doesn't work... after I panicked Pete found that the contractor hid a key for us!! We unpack and I get news from our realtor that the people loved the house and they were considering it over the weekend. PRAY IT SELLS.

7pm Jeff & Char come to the condo with stuff for s'mores, praise the Lord. I had some chocolate and things seemed to calm down as we talked and as Pete took over the chasing of our one year old. We played some bago when Jeb & Stiener showed up and had a good time.

8pm Mak went to bed and Pete's parents went home. Jeb, Steiner, Pete & I watched some TV and talked until about 11pm when we crashed. All I can say is "Mama said there'd be days like this" and she was RIGHT.

Thursday June 4th

6:30am I woke up to find Pete still in bed with me (he didn't have to work) but I got out of bed to get ready and let him still sleep.

8am Mak wakes up (I'm thinking she's starting to change her wake up time from 6:30am to 8am... but I'm OK with it!!)

8:30am We run up to Starbucks to eat outside and enjoy some breakfast and an iced coffee. It was a beautiful morning to sit outside and Makenzie loved watching all the cars and customers. We again, drove past my new dream house. AHHHHH. Can't believe we actually found something that is perfect... now 1) sell the house 2) save money 3) hopefully they lower the price some more... and then we could make a move.

10:am Pete watches Makenzie so that I can go shopping with my mom and his father's day gift. I got him some awesome stuff that I can't wait to give him!! My mom & I enjoyed the time for just the two of us and not having the mess with getting Mak in and out for every store. Below is a picture of the new pajamas we got her while shopping :)

12pm We eat lunch outside to enjoy the sunshine and I stuff my face with spaghetti and meatballs. SO yummy. Pete had Makenzie's pool all blown up so I started to fill it with water. Yes, another afternoon in the baby pool!!

12:30pm - 4ish We just play outside and inside and try to keep a very uncomfortable one year old happy. She is teething and missing her morning bottle very much. We put Makenzie down for another nap since we can't go home because of a showing. We played games while she slept.

5ish We get in the truck and head home. I cleaned and packed to get ready to leave for WI the next day while Pete cleaned his truck and packed it up. We wanted to be ready to leave whenever he gets off work... which could be between noon to seven at night... who knows. Mak loves to take picture of ourselves while looking at the screen (I flip it around so she can see herself)... so here is a not so flattering shot of the two of us!!

(I'll be in WI this weekend without internet so I'll have to post Friday & Saturday after the weekend!!)

Wednesday June 3rd

6am I get up as usual, trying to get ready and organized before Mak wakes up. I shower and work on some paperwork.

8am Makenzie finally wakes up. I took a picture of her in the morning to show you all the adorable smile I get every morning. The wakes up soo happy, even when teething.

9am Makenzie and I are eating breakfast and planning on going to the store to get dinner for Jeb and his friends who are stopping by on the way from TX to WI. While I'm planning on where they will sleep, what time I'll make dinner, etc... Pete calls to tell me that he is going on a road trip. SO, my plans all change. I start to pack up to go stay at my mom & dads (I HATE staying home alone).

10am My mom comes over because we were going to run some errands but Mak changed our plans when she decided to sleep from 10 to noon. We get all packed up and pick up the house and then we just sat and waited. We ate lunch at around 11:30. (spagettios, lol)

12pm On the way out my mom had me check the birds nest bc she things they hatched. To my surprise, one little naked baby bird was sitting there!! So cute. I had to call Pete to tell him and he was very excited too.We ran errands until about 4ish and decided that Makenzie needed a nap. Since she wont sleep in the car we went to my mom's house to put her down. We drove past a home that just went close to our price range and FELL IN LOVE with it. Seriously... it is just PERFECT for us. It's one four acres, has four bedrooms and is in the perfect location. We also lowered our price of the house and now we have a showing friday at 3:30pm... pray it sells!!

6pm We meet my mom's friend for mexican dinner and sit and talk about how crazy life can be.

7:30pm I finally get Mak in the tub and we do a quick bottle and I tried to get her in bed at 8 but she was having fun playing so it was about 8:30 until she was in her crib. My mom and I went in their hot tub with a glass of wine and relaxed. I then got a call from Pete that he was going to drive through and just come home... which I am not a big fan of. Don't get me wrong.. I love having him sleep next to me but I don't like that he drives for that long of a time without a break.

10pm I finally go to bed and I try not to worry about Pete driving... but you know me... I worried :) I prayed and fell asleep. (Pete got home sometime in the night and didn't even wake me up!)

Tuesday June 2nd

6:00am I woke up to get ready for work. Makenzie was still sleeping so I spent sometime working on my blog post. I talked to Pete on the phone and another friend while I was waiting for her to wake up.

8:00am Mak finally wakes up and I change her and put her in the car to go meet Grandma and Grandpa. She's still in her jammies and kind of sleepy so it was a quiet ride listening to a Dixie Chicks CD. I meet my mom and dad at the church where they give me an iced coffee and I give them my baby, lol... for the day while I work at the office.

9:00am I get to work and I am trying to focus on payroll while I have a very hyper dispatcher wanting me to work on other things with him. Payroll was easier than normal with the short work week so I was able to get it done before lunch. April got us all Portillos and we celebrated the fact that we are getting a huge payout tomorrow!! Such a relief.

1:00pm I start to work on projects with Todd and we get a TON done. It was a very productive day at work. Pete gets back to the shop and offers to pick up Makenzie so that I can keep working.

4:00pm I get in my car to go home and I called my friend Annette to vent about some stuff. It was a great talk and she had some words of wisdom that really helped. Miss you annette :) Then I get started on dinner. Pete finished mowing the lawn while Mak played on the kitchen floor so I could keep cooking a mexican dish with rice. Pete also helped our neighbors dig out some grass for a patio they are putting in. While dinner is in the oven Makenzie and I read some books and played with some animal flash cards.

5:30pm We got done eating and Pete got a call from his brother about him and his friends staying the night on Wednesday. I got Makenzie in the tub while he was talking and she played awhile. After coming up with a route from OK to IL Pete came upstairs and got Makenzie ready for bed while I did a deposit for Catom. Makenzie came walking into the room in a "dress" (one of my tank tops) and a head band!! It was HILARIOUS. She loves dressing up and spins around and just smiles and laughs. She played for awhile in the dress until her head banged into her crib when she was reaching for a hair piece and her lips started to bleed.

7:30pm After a bottle and some cuddling she was ready for bed. She is down to only one bottle a day and she really savors it, lol. We put her down and we went downstairs to clean up and then relax. I was feeling super emotional, so a good talk with Pete really helped me get alot off my chest. He is a good listener and an even better hugger. He had another early start in the morning so we decided to start devotionals early and just head up to bed.

10:3opm Our plans did not work out... we ended up talk more and more and realized how late it was and could not believe it!! Poor Pete... he only got a couple hours of sleep...

Monday June 1st

3:30am I woke up when Pete got out of bed and tried to not let my brain start working of I knew I wouldn't go back to sleep!! I finally fell back to sleep after I heard his truck pull out the drive.

6:00am My alarm woke me up so I jumped in the shower and got ready quickly in hope to get some stuff done before Makenzie woke up. Little did I know that she was going to sleep until 8!! I worked on my blog and sent some emails and spend some quiet time with God. I went down to the front porch to check on the bird and nest and everything was fine. I called Pete to tell him I was crazy for staying up over it... but he said he was worried about them too!!

8:00am Makenzie wanted out of her crib so we went downstairs to eat some breakfast. I cleaned up the kitchen, did some laundry and cleaned out the frig while she ate, just in time for my mom to come over around 9. My mom comes over every Monday to help me with Makenzie so that I can have a whole day at home to really get my "at home work" organized and up to date. I worked as fast as I could as I drank iced coffee (thanks to my mom) and tried to stay off of facebook!!

12:00pm I took a break to eat lunch and go through our summer schedules to make plans for Timmy to visit and to make sure that we didn't double book anything. After eating a turkey sandwich and some sweet tea I went back up to my office and finished up my work for the day. I work on three companies mainly on Monday and I got everything done that I could from home. I packed up my work bag to bring to Catom on Tuesday and picked up the upstairs and put some laundry away while Makenzie was napping. I emailed my mother in law about an upcoming weekend and went downstairs when I heard someone walk in the door.

2:00pm Beth came over to go to the fabric store, but we ended up talking with my mom for an hour or so before we went. Pete called because he was at the store picking up milk so I had him pick up some other stuff we needed so that I didn't have to go back out. With meatloaf and zucchini squares in the oven, Beth and I went to the store trying to focus on fabric and not the food waiting at home!! We picked out some awesome material and headed back home to start washing and drying it so we could get started. I came home to some beautiful flowers that Pete picked up. Pete took Makenzie jogging and to the park... so we got started on our project.

5:00pm We ate dinner outside, just in time to miss a storm!! Pete took Makenzie down to the basement room so that we could clean up the kitchen and start ironing the fabric. Makenzie was not happy about being left out... but it was just too dangerous to keep her up by us since she wanted the iron!! We ironed and folded and talked until around 8pm when I put Makenzie to bed... just in time for...

8:00pm Jon & Kate Plus 8... I don't follow many shows on TV but this one has always been a favorite. We watched and talked during commercials and Pete, Beth & I all are hoping that they save their marriage!! After the shows we went up to bed to do our devotional and go to bed. I love sleeping with the windows open!!! It was a much better night sleep too.

A Day In Our Life- Sunday May

My friend Amy started this on her blog and I thought it was fun to track a week in words and pictures! Lets see if I can actually do it...

7:30am: We woke up to get ready for church, which was odd since Makenzie usually wakes us up before then! I love Sunday mornings because it is the only day of the week that I know Pete will wake up with me. He usually is out of bed around 4am (sometimes before and sometimes after). So, just laying in bed and talking is something that I really cherish.

9:15am We were a little late since Makenzie slept in but we were able to make it in time to worship still and then here an awesome message for our youth pastor. It was really challenging and about repentance. He did a great job flipping back and forth between Romans and I Peter to show how good has unconditional love but He calls us to repent of our sins while being genuine and committing to change our ways. I was able to catch up with a friend (and make some plans to get together hopefully) and then off to brunch with my parents.

12:00pm We then went back to my mom and dad's house to help with their to-do list and then relax a little bit. Makenzie played outside for a little bit and then went off for a nap. My mom and I spent some time online looking for something special for Timmy when he comes to visit and then we sorted through some stuff that we didn't need at the condo. Pete was fixing a brick step and then went running. I pulled out the baby pool and actually tanned in it myself since Makenzie took a THREE HOUR NAP. We munched on homemade salsa and chips and then went outside to enjoy more sunshine. I think she's switching to one nap a day... she's a little young for it... so we'll see.

2:00pm While we waited for her to wake up we played a little basketball, planted some wildflowers, spread some seeds and then I went back in the pool to cool off! Pete told me it's so hillbilly... but whatever. My dad came walking out with Makenzie around 3ish and she was very excited to play in the pool!! We spent a couple of hours playing and she just loved roaming the yard and splashing in the water. After she got cold (from playing with the hose) we went in to clean up.

5:00pm We ordered Chinese food and ate out on the back patio. It was nice to enjoy the sunshine but we could tell that something was blowing up!! We jumped into the car to go home and we drove by some homes we like that are for sale on the way. Once we got home, I started cleaning the house while Pete talked to the neighbors with Makenzie playing close by. I was able to clean the WHOLE house in time for some relaxation time with Pete before we went to bed. Makenzie went to sleep at 8 since she was enjoying playing outside with her dad.

9:00pm We decided to go to bed since Pete had to wake up at 3:30 this morning. I had a hard time sleeping the the crazy wind and storms and I have a feeling Pete didn't sleep well either! I kept worrying about a bird and it's nest that we have in a hanging plant on our porch There are three eggs in it and I kept thinking... maybe I should go take it down from the wind... but I didn't know if that would bother the bird!! I'm crazy.. but I love animals.

(PS, I didn't take any pictures yesterday... but I will start today!!)

Waiting...

I'm sitting here waiting for Pete to come home so we can go to WI!! I know we go all the time, but who cares. We love it and it's worth the work to us. Not only do we get to spend time with family but we get to RELAX and I get a break from living in Cortland!! I am so ready to be out of this house and out of this sad sad town. Does anyone know the Dixie Chick song about the square people in a world that's round? Well, that is how I feel. I feel like this is just a sad town and is so full of broken dreams. I hate that 1 1/2 away Tammy's house is being foreclosed on and that this is the place we were supposed to put our kids on the bus together. Then, it was the place I would put Timmy & Mak on the school bus... now it is neither. I hate walking the streets, I hate driving through it, and I just want out. SO, not only am I waiting to leave for WI but I'm waiting to MOVE. I am working on being patient and I know that God has a plan. It is so much easier said than done. Reading the Bible this morning helped me alot and I plan on spending my "hard times" sitting down and reading about hope and God's promises. Please pray that I have patience to stay here as long as God has planned.

Alabama Trip

So I've been up since 3:30am so this will probably not be as long as I want... but I'll try! I know I'll be too busy all week between work and packing up to go to WI for Labor Day weekend... so I'm going to post while it's on my mind. That being said, it is now officially "head up to WI every weekend the sun is out" season so I'm getting ready to hold on tight!!

We had a BLAST in Alabama. Timmy Ray & Timmy Lee are both settled and happy at home with Grandma & Grandpa Adams. Timmy Ray is going to a school to learn aluminum welding to work on the fishing boats down there. Timmy Lee is in "school" and has made new friends already. He is confused about the whole moving thing but has seemed to adapt well. That being said... he has not changed a BIT. Mak & TL did not skip a beat. They played great together and especially enjoyed the beach. We all jumped waves and played on the beach as often as time would allow. We also made several trips to the pool each day!! We are excited to have such a beautiful place to visit. Timmy Lee has a tractor that he drives around the yard for hours and he also helps with the garden!! The Adams' home is BEAUTIFUL and such a perfect place for a three year old boy.

It is still hard to not have him here in IL with us, but we were very happy to see them both smiling and enjoying Alabama. We do have plans to bring TL back to IL this summer and we'll have a big BBQ so that everyone can see him. Timmy Ray was attached to Mak all week, which was rather cute. We had our times where one kid or both kids would get tired and there were several emotional times but we made it through. We knew the first trip down would be the hardest and we're glad that it went so good. I know Tammy would have had a blast too but hopefully she was watching us and laughing at our crazy attempt to adjust to yet another change!! This past chapter of our life has been hard, emotional, crazy yet also memorable and has brought us so much closer as a family. Hopefully there is a happy chapter coming up and this would be a great start to it!!

Mother's Day Weekend & Some Revelations

I had a great Mother's Day weekend. It's hard to believe that it is my second Mother's Day!! Makenzie is getting so old and is doing new things every day. She is starting to say some words and she is happiest when we are outside. She even loves to ride in the car with all the windows rolled down and the music turned up loud. She is a little rebel and a free spirit but she is who she is and is and we love her for it. I cannot wait to have more children and see all the different personalities they all have! Plus, I am very thankful for my mom and mother in law who have become great friends to one another. We are able to celebrate holidays TOGETHER with both sets of parents. Chris & Anne were able to come up too! Between moving back into the condo and spending time with family, the weekend just flew by. We went swimming, ate a ton of food and did alot of talking.

I have always thought that my life has been crazy busy and out of control... but the more I think about it the more I realized that it is just they way I like it. I'm the one who wants to go up to WI all the time, I'm the one who booked the tickets to AL to visit my little nephew, I'm the one who LOVES to work from home, I'm the one who wants my house to be cleaned every week... no one is making me busy but me! At first I thought that maybe I should start saying no to things... but I really don't mind being busy. I am the happiest when I have a to-do list and when I know that I need to stay organized and on top of things.

Also, I realized that what I'm looking forward to most after moving from Cortland to the Burlington/Plato Center/Hampshire area is to having a yard. I cannot wait to have a flower garden for fresh flowers and to have a vegetable garden that I can cook with and share with anyone who needs fresh food. Plus, Mak needs room to run and that is NOT happening here. We are either too close to the pond or to the street. Pete & I grew up on acres and that is where we belong.

Some More Updates

The boys are now in AL. They left Friday night after Pete spent the day helping them pack the moving truck. Pete has been such a rock to me and my family and has helped out so much so that we don't have to be the ones packing their stuff and shipping them off. We are looking forward to visiting them in May and I cannot tell you how hard I'm going to squeeze that kid when I see him. I have never gone longer then a week without seeing him... and this past year the longest I would go was maybe a day or two. I am SO happy that Pete can come with my mom, mak & I. I know Mak will go crazy when she sees him too!! It's hard to have them so far away but it is nice knowing that we gave them 110% and we have no regrets. We made the decision to put family before friends and while that has upset some, it has proven to allow us to spend alot of time with Tammy before she passed away and a great amount of time with TR & TL before they moved. While it is VERY hard to have them gone, it has given us all alot of free time. We are taking advantage of this by relaxing, restructuring some businesses plans and helping my parents with a ton of projects that they put off while putting their grandkids first. We have our first showing Saturday and an open house on Sunday, so please pray that we sell our home and get out of that small sad town!!! I'll post some "goodbye" pictures when I am ready to look at them.

Major Updates

I have to make this quick...

1) TR & TL are moving to AL the weekend of Easter. We are REALLY sad because we will miss them a ton, but if they are happy down there then we will be happy for them. Pray that Timmy with adjust quickly and easily and that my family will have strength to get through what will be a difficult time for us. It was a shock to us but we are getting used to the idea and we know that God is in control.

2) Pete & I are trying to sell our home and move to the Burlington area. Pray that our home sells and that we can find a home. We are not going to start looking until after we sell since the home could sit on the market with this crazy economy. (However, I've already fell in love with a home on line... you know me... I can't help but look a little!!)

3) My baby is turning one next week!! CRAZY. Thank the Lord that she is healthy and happy.

I think most of you know all of the above... but I've gotten lots of emails and calls and thought this would be the easiest way to update.

Sunshine Works Wonders

Timmy waiting to go play basketball with Uncle Pete. (Pete's been WAITING for this day!)

Wearing her new shirt (From Auntie Kim). I LOVE her blue eyes. Such a Stellman. The monsters eating "nanner" bread. They can't get enough of it!!


At the waterpark. Makenzie & my dad relaxed together on the lazy river for hours.
I don't know who enjoyed it more :)

I don't know how long I have since Mak is supposed to be up from her nap soon, but I wanted to post a little update. WE SURVIVED THE FIRST YEAR. Yes. We are so relieved and thankful that it is over. Now I am worried about everyone forgetting about her... so please do not hesitate to talk about Tammy. We miss her and still love her and we want her to be a part of our life. She can't be with us now but we can still talk about her and laugh and focus on the big role she played in our lives.

The sunshine is very welcome. Besides it making me spring clean and start to plan Makenzie's birthday party... it has brought about an excuse to open up a couple windows and has served as a reminder or what is yet to come. Timmy, Mak, & I went on a play date to a home that is just across the pond from us. Timmy & Tristan (1 month younger in age) played while Makenzie & Savannah (2 months younger in age) enjoyed giving each other toys and then taking them back while Cat & I tried to talk in between. I am very thankful to have someone so close with kids the same age as T & M to play with. Timmy and Mak have been in wonderful stages this past week, which has allowed me to start thinking about more babies, just kidding. Makenzie has her teeth in and I can tell she's taking a break from the pain and is back to her happy self. Timmy has been working on his manners and has shown alot of improvement. We got his haircut yesterday and I'm happy to say goodbye to the mohawk!!

We are going up to WI this weekend to celebrate Lily & Char's birthdays. All the girls (including my mom) are going to Sundara to get our nails done and to spend some time relaxing in the spa. I CANNOT WAIT. Then, we will start to focus on Makenzie & Pete's birthday. SCARY. I am not ready for her to be a year old yet.

Waiting for Spring to Come.

Mom: you might not want to read one.

This month is a month we could not wait for it to come and go. I am trying to look at it as a good thing. We are so close to making it through the first year. It was long and hard, emotional and crazy... but it is so close to being over. I feel bad for having such bad feelings about the same year my baby was born, but the grief was and can still be so all-consuming that it often takes over any other emotions. If it was not for Makenzie, my whole family would be 10 steps behind. She forced us to keep going and to realize that we have little hearts who are learning and developing and need us to be there for them with hugs and smiles even when we don't feel like it. God gives and he takes away. Even though we don't have Tammy, we need to remember that we have Timmy and that it is beneficial to focus on the positive rather then dwell on the negetive. I keep telling myself that it can only get easier, but life just doesn't always work like that. Things keep popping up that are stressful and time consuming, but maybe it's Gods way of keeping us busy. Here are a list of things we need prayer for: wisdom for me on how to discipline Timmy , wisdom on how to manage the companies during these hard times, the capability for me to focus on work when I'm working and kids & Pete when I'm not working, praise that Timmy Ray & Pete have still been working hours comparable to last year, and for us to get through the 21st as gracefully as possible. We have all come a long way since Tammy went to Heaven but we still have a long way to go. I had no idea how hard this was going to be and I think since we have Timmy so often we realize that we are going to miss her and wish she was here for all the cute things he does. I really hope that she is in Heaven watching all of this. She would feel so loved and she would probably tell me I'm too strict with the kids, even though they are little monsters. AND she would kill me for not washing every dish in the dishwasher before letting Timmy eat on it. She would also let him eat sour cream by itself, just like she did. Timmy has so much of Tammy in him that it shows me how much of our personality is based on nature & nurture. He is OCD and loves loves loves cheese and has Tammy's same attitude when he thinks I'm being crazy. I can almost hear her sometimes when he talks. I miss her every day and I wish she was still at her home a block and a half away so that we could be with each other as often as we used to be. I cannot wait to see her in Heaven and see her smile and hear her laugh again. That's it. This is for everyone who thinks I hold everything in. I really don't, I just save it for after Timmy goes home and Makenzie's in bed and it's just me and Pete.

FINALLY FLORIDA

OK, so we went on our first family vacation the end of January... and I'm finally putting pictures up. It was mine & Pete's favorite vacation ever. The only down fall was that we missed Timmy, so we're already planning a trip where the whole family will go and visit Mickey Mouse & Shamoo together. It was a nice time of just being us three, but FL is not a place to leave our favorite nephew out. Makenzie had a wonderful time watching and learning and just taking the sunshine and all the characters and animals in. She did amazing on the plane rides and she is just an awesome traveler. We fit some time in to spend with my grandparents and sit and talk. The vacation was a wonderful break and an opportunity for Pete & I to connect again. I also got ALOT of relaxing time which was a huge blessing. Plus a good tan never hurts. I want to go back!!!!

2009 will be a better year... right??

So, we are hoping and praying for an amazing 2009. I will even settle for an OK year. Looking back on 2008 and all the emotions...the worst lows of not having Tammy with us anymore from seeing my baby girl for the first time...it has been a year that was hard to survive. We lost Pete's Grandma right after Christmas but we know she was ready to meet God and see her husband and son again. We miss her already, but I know her and Tammy are up partying and talking about us all. We spent two long weekends up in WI, the first saying goodbye to Grandma and the second to go to her memorial. While it was sad and emotional it was a fun opportunity to slow down a little bit and spend time with family. Audrey and Makenzie are growing so fast!! It is fun to see them change with every visit.

Makenzie just had her 9 month appt. and is still in the 95% for height and head and is in the 90% for weight!! The doctor said she is perfect and that she is a very happy baby girl....obviously!! We were blessed with a little joy bug. She still has no teeth but she is starting to try and walk already. We might just have the only walking baby without teeth. I don't really want her to get teeth yet bc then she won't look like a baby anymore :( Oh well, it will just be time for another then!! She can walk pushing something or holding onto a hand, so I think it won't be much longer till she can do it on her own.

We are starting out the year with going to Florida at the end of the month to spend some time RELAXING. Our only plans are Sea World and visiting with my grandparents. I am thankful to have a condo to stay in so we can basically stay around the place with Makenzie, make meals to eat there, lay out of the patio in the sun, and walk to the pool right by the place. I know it is kind of crazy taking a vacation with the economy...but we are taking advantage of Pete having some time off!! It will just be me, Pete, and peaches...so she might be a little bored with just us :) I'll post some more recent pictures for everyone to see. We took the kids to get pictures taken professionally...such a waste of time. I won't have them for a while but when I do I'll post them and you'll see what I mean!! By the time Timmy would smile and look at the camera Makenzie would be crawling away!! Oh well.

So, I will stop blabbing now. But really quickly...thank you all for all of your thoughts and prayers. We know that God has given us the strength to grow, learn and love Him more through all the crazy times. We are blessed to have wonderful and faithful family and friends to pray pray pray and love on us. I am a blessed girl to have my unbelievable husband and two kids who smile more then they cry in my life!!