Major Updates

I have to make this quick...

1) TR & TL are moving to AL the weekend of Easter. We are REALLY sad because we will miss them a ton, but if they are happy down there then we will be happy for them. Pray that Timmy with adjust quickly and easily and that my family will have strength to get through what will be a difficult time for us. It was a shock to us but we are getting used to the idea and we know that God is in control.

2) Pete & I are trying to sell our home and move to the Burlington area. Pray that our home sells and that we can find a home. We are not going to start looking until after we sell since the home could sit on the market with this crazy economy. (However, I've already fell in love with a home on line... you know me... I can't help but look a little!!)

3) My baby is turning one next week!! CRAZY. Thank the Lord that she is healthy and happy.

I think most of you know all of the above... but I've gotten lots of emails and calls and thought this would be the easiest way to update.

Sunshine Works Wonders

Timmy waiting to go play basketball with Uncle Pete. (Pete's been WAITING for this day!)

Wearing her new shirt (From Auntie Kim). I LOVE her blue eyes. Such a Stellman. The monsters eating "nanner" bread. They can't get enough of it!!


At the waterpark. Makenzie & my dad relaxed together on the lazy river for hours.
I don't know who enjoyed it more :)

I don't know how long I have since Mak is supposed to be up from her nap soon, but I wanted to post a little update. WE SURVIVED THE FIRST YEAR. Yes. We are so relieved and thankful that it is over. Now I am worried about everyone forgetting about her... so please do not hesitate to talk about Tammy. We miss her and still love her and we want her to be a part of our life. She can't be with us now but we can still talk about her and laugh and focus on the big role she played in our lives.

The sunshine is very welcome. Besides it making me spring clean and start to plan Makenzie's birthday party... it has brought about an excuse to open up a couple windows and has served as a reminder or what is yet to come. Timmy, Mak, & I went on a play date to a home that is just across the pond from us. Timmy & Tristan (1 month younger in age) played while Makenzie & Savannah (2 months younger in age) enjoyed giving each other toys and then taking them back while Cat & I tried to talk in between. I am very thankful to have someone so close with kids the same age as T & M to play with. Timmy and Mak have been in wonderful stages this past week, which has allowed me to start thinking about more babies, just kidding. Makenzie has her teeth in and I can tell she's taking a break from the pain and is back to her happy self. Timmy has been working on his manners and has shown alot of improvement. We got his haircut yesterday and I'm happy to say goodbye to the mohawk!!

We are going up to WI this weekend to celebrate Lily & Char's birthdays. All the girls (including my mom) are going to Sundara to get our nails done and to spend some time relaxing in the spa. I CANNOT WAIT. Then, we will start to focus on Makenzie & Pete's birthday. SCARY. I am not ready for her to be a year old yet.

Waiting for Spring to Come.

Mom: you might not want to read one.

This month is a month we could not wait for it to come and go. I am trying to look at it as a good thing. We are so close to making it through the first year. It was long and hard, emotional and crazy... but it is so close to being over. I feel bad for having such bad feelings about the same year my baby was born, but the grief was and can still be so all-consuming that it often takes over any other emotions. If it was not for Makenzie, my whole family would be 10 steps behind. She forced us to keep going and to realize that we have little hearts who are learning and developing and need us to be there for them with hugs and smiles even when we don't feel like it. God gives and he takes away. Even though we don't have Tammy, we need to remember that we have Timmy and that it is beneficial to focus on the positive rather then dwell on the negetive. I keep telling myself that it can only get easier, but life just doesn't always work like that. Things keep popping up that are stressful and time consuming, but maybe it's Gods way of keeping us busy. Here are a list of things we need prayer for: wisdom for me on how to discipline Timmy , wisdom on how to manage the companies during these hard times, the capability for me to focus on work when I'm working and kids & Pete when I'm not working, praise that Timmy Ray & Pete have still been working hours comparable to last year, and for us to get through the 21st as gracefully as possible. We have all come a long way since Tammy went to Heaven but we still have a long way to go. I had no idea how hard this was going to be and I think since we have Timmy so often we realize that we are going to miss her and wish she was here for all the cute things he does. I really hope that she is in Heaven watching all of this. She would feel so loved and she would probably tell me I'm too strict with the kids, even though they are little monsters. AND she would kill me for not washing every dish in the dishwasher before letting Timmy eat on it. She would also let him eat sour cream by itself, just like she did. Timmy has so much of Tammy in him that it shows me how much of our personality is based on nature & nurture. He is OCD and loves loves loves cheese and has Tammy's same attitude when he thinks I'm being crazy. I can almost hear her sometimes when he talks. I miss her every day and I wish she was still at her home a block and a half away so that we could be with each other as often as we used to be. I cannot wait to see her in Heaven and see her smile and hear her laugh again. That's it. This is for everyone who thinks I hold everything in. I really don't, I just save it for after Timmy goes home and Makenzie's in bed and it's just me and Pete.

FINALLY FLORIDA

OK, so we went on our first family vacation the end of January... and I'm finally putting pictures up. It was mine & Pete's favorite vacation ever. The only down fall was that we missed Timmy, so we're already planning a trip where the whole family will go and visit Mickey Mouse & Shamoo together. It was a nice time of just being us three, but FL is not a place to leave our favorite nephew out. Makenzie had a wonderful time watching and learning and just taking the sunshine and all the characters and animals in. She did amazing on the plane rides and she is just an awesome traveler. We fit some time in to spend with my grandparents and sit and talk. The vacation was a wonderful break and an opportunity for Pete & I to connect again. I also got ALOT of relaxing time which was a huge blessing. Plus a good tan never hurts. I want to go back!!!!

2009 will be a better year... right??

So, we are hoping and praying for an amazing 2009. I will even settle for an OK year. Looking back on 2008 and all the emotions...the worst lows of not having Tammy with us anymore from seeing my baby girl for the first time...it has been a year that was hard to survive. We lost Pete's Grandma right after Christmas but we know she was ready to meet God and see her husband and son again. We miss her already, but I know her and Tammy are up partying and talking about us all. We spent two long weekends up in WI, the first saying goodbye to Grandma and the second to go to her memorial. While it was sad and emotional it was a fun opportunity to slow down a little bit and spend time with family. Audrey and Makenzie are growing so fast!! It is fun to see them change with every visit.

Makenzie just had her 9 month appt. and is still in the 95% for height and head and is in the 90% for weight!! The doctor said she is perfect and that she is a very happy baby girl....obviously!! We were blessed with a little joy bug. She still has no teeth but she is starting to try and walk already. We might just have the only walking baby without teeth. I don't really want her to get teeth yet bc then she won't look like a baby anymore :( Oh well, it will just be time for another then!! She can walk pushing something or holding onto a hand, so I think it won't be much longer till she can do it on her own.

We are starting out the year with going to Florida at the end of the month to spend some time RELAXING. Our only plans are Sea World and visiting with my grandparents. I am thankful to have a condo to stay in so we can basically stay around the place with Makenzie, make meals to eat there, lay out of the patio in the sun, and walk to the pool right by the place. I know it is kind of crazy taking a vacation with the economy...but we are taking advantage of Pete having some time off!! It will just be me, Pete, and peaches...so she might be a little bored with just us :) I'll post some more recent pictures for everyone to see. We took the kids to get pictures taken professionally...such a waste of time. I won't have them for a while but when I do I'll post them and you'll see what I mean!! By the time Timmy would smile and look at the camera Makenzie would be crawling away!! Oh well.

So, I will stop blabbing now. But really quickly...thank you all for all of your thoughts and prayers. We know that God has given us the strength to grow, learn and love Him more through all the crazy times. We are blessed to have wonderful and faithful family and friends to pray pray pray and love on us. I am a blessed girl to have my unbelievable husband and two kids who smile more then they cry in my life!!

Christmas Fun

We have been keeping ourselves very busy and have been enjoying some family traditions. We've cut down our trees, made delicious cookies (in our pajamas), and even went downtown for an "unofficial downtown day"... and have actually did more then just survive...we've enjoyed the times!! It is still hard on a daily basis, but I'm starting to see signs of true happiness coming back out in smiles and laughs throughout our family. Praise God.

Visit with Santa

We took the kids to see Santa! Their camera wasn't working so I got to us my own, which was wonderful since it was free!! They both did great and gave us wonderful smiles. Timmy asked for a motorcycle and a truck and asked Santa to bring Kenzie a doll. It was precious.